About Courage…
This will likely be a complex topic, but I will provide as much detail as possible and then give you a challenging question by the end of this text.
Courage is being present as yourself, independent of your environment.
I know… I started with a complex phrase that not everyone will agree on, but give me a chance to explain.
Nowadays, it's hard to be the real you because of the judgmental era we are facing. So, it takes courage to defend your ideals and things that you believe. And it's interesting because people don't want to listen but want to be heard.
"Keep your opinion with you." — an unknown guy said.
Why does hearing a different opinion hurt so much?
Sometimes, people don't want to listen to the truth or give another way of thinking a chance. But this should not stop you from speaking. If you expect to change things and genuinely feel you have something to add, you should bring it to the table. And a key to remember… The worst that can happen is people disagreeing with you.
The most important thing is
It may sound repetitive (and it is), but you need to be aligned with what you care about. If something bothers you, it probably bothers other people, too—the ones who don't dare to speak. So, as an example, we should show that we don't need to be afraid to take a position on a subject.
But don't forget… Be yourself.
I always tell my direct reports that we don't need to change how we communicate or be a copy of a personality from others (first of all, that's impossible). You need to find your voice and how you can express your feelings about stuff. So, if you are shy, I don't expect you to open the mic in a meeting with 10–15 people (even if they are known). But try to discuss with your boss, send an e-mail giving feedback about the meeting, text the host, or schedule 1:1s. If you are more of a person who communicates a lot, remember that saying your opinion is not an opportunity to be rude or make people accept at any cost.
The result is peace and change.
Knowing that you did what you felt in your heart is peaceful. You end your day happy that you have shared things. And it's relaxing because you don't bring stress to home.
People want to change things (sometimes I hear something like "the world"), but they hide under their pillow and, even worse, create gossip and judgment with those who try. This does not work, period. You should speak up if you want a real chance of making a difference.
Give a chance for your opinion.
One exercise I am encouraging people to try is simple and effective if you apply it correctly.
- First, listen to what people say with attention and wait for the person to finish.
- Then, think about your opinion carefully and respectfully.
- You will eventually find the "but" word in your head. Stop there.
- Here are your first impressions about the subject.
- Remember to be polite and say it, share it!!
People constantly change their minds and say nothing because the "but" comes with questions like…
- What will X person think about it?
- Will I be judged?
- Will my opinion matter to them?
- Am I saying something awkward?
And more and more and more…
It's normal to change your opinion afterward because you'll be more mature in the subject, or there will be more arguments on the table. But you expressed your thoughts. And again, if they are valuable to you, it's likely to others.
So, the question is… Do you have the courage to express yourself?
My name is John. I hope you enjoyed this first text. I plan to write more about personal and professional topics.
My answer to the question above?
I had the courage to start blogging and share what I think today, so I am proud and excited about what will come.
I want to hear back from you; please text me!
From your friend,
John.
